Wednesday, May 1, 2013

May Day, mayday

Morning view on other side of river path.

Finally... it's May 1st.   <<sigh>>

January through April are the hardest months for me. My absolute favorite time of the year is fall - especially September and October. And while the next few months are going to be a nice reprieve from the long winter, I'm not looking forward to heat or humidity. Is there anywhere in the world where it's September all year 'round?

I slept with the windows open last night for the first time in a very long time. I fell asleep to the pitter-patter of rain on the roof and didn't even care if rain came in through the open windows.
Such freedom!
Sporadic thunderstorms brought occasional lightning and thunder, waking me ever so slightly. By morning, the birds were chirping loudly, most likely happy that there were abundant worms from the rain, while the sun warmed the sky with a peach glow. Charlie and I took a leisurely walk down to the Wisconsin River, enjoying the birds and relaxing as the sun rose.

Some kind of ducks on Wisconsin River.

Alas, my dream of home ownership, along with the tiny beautiful house in the country I had my eye on, turned out to be wishful thinking. At first I was embarrassed, then depressed.
Then a fire started burning deep inside me and I decided that I'm not going to "let" things happen to me anymore. I am taking charge of my own life and I'm going to create a life I love. I'm tired of feeling like a victim of circumstance; I have the power to change.

I'm not sure why my circumstances are bothering me so much all of a sudden. Maybe it's because I'm going to be 39 in a month or maybe it's because a man was murdered and dismembered last week in a house that I can see from my kitchen window. I'm tired of living in a crowded, noisy, crime-filled neighborhood. I'm tired of having things stolen out of my yard, worrying about my dog running out into traffic, and holding my breath in my backyard because I'm surrounded by cigarette-smoking neighbors. I want to live where I don't have to listen to traffic and sirens all day long; where I can hear frogs and birds singing instead. I want to have bird feeders filled with as many different birds as I can attract. I want to walk out my back door and into the woods for an early morning walk. I want to plant flowers in my yard that won't get stepped on by nasty, bored children who lack parental supervision and guidance. I don't need granite countertops and tons of square footage. My needs are quite simple actually; and I'm going to make it happen. I'm hatching a plan that will take many months of work and sprinkling my ideas with the power of positive thinking to help them grow.

April showers bring May flowers... let the growing begin!

Wisconsin River along River Edge Parkway.